Married At First Sight affords contestants a level of glitz, glam and stardom that’s only truly realised in certain situations — like when they’re summoned to outer Brisbane courthouses.
Series villain Ines Basic arriving at Cleveland Magistrates Court this week in a black limo with a bodyguard can only be described as glorious.
Even though the car she arrived in wasn’t technically a limo, all the reports said it was, and who are we to argue with reports? It was more of a mini-van. Kind of like the courtesy van at every suburban RSL club but a bit more fancy than that because it was a Mercedes mini-van instead of a Tarago. Essentially, it was a step above a maxi taxi. My point is, you shouldn’t be able to stand upright in a limo and walk out of it, which is what Ines did when it pulled up out the front of the courthouse.
“Who turns up in a limo for a court case?” one of the photographers can be heard muttering in video footage as Ines strides up the stairs in her black tailored pants suit while media swarm around her.
Her security guard pushed everyone out of the way as she maintained her icy demeanour. She looked pissed off the whole time but internally she was loving it.
What was Ines there for? Nothing big. In a nutshell, on Christmas Day she was drunk and got in a fight with her sister because her sister said something mean about her going on a reality show, and then Ines rammed her car into her sister’s car, and then when the police came she gave them a fake name and screamed at them: “F***ing arrest me, arrest me bitch!”
Honestly, it’s all pretty reasonable by Ines’ standards.
Unfortunately, the judge didn’t really appreciate the glamour Ines brought to the suburban courthouse.
“It sounds like you’ve been living in a bubble of artificiality. And I just want you to get back to that basics,” Magistrate Deborah Vasta said after ordering Ines to 70 hours of community service.
I know Magistrate Deborah Vasta meant that as a sobering reprimand, but she’s actually just given Ines an idea for a terrific new spin-off reality show: Back To Basic.
Back To Basic will follow Ines as she embarks on her 70-hour court sentence and begins a new life chapter. Episode one will see her move into the home of that sister whose car she rammed, and cameras will follow her as her limo pulls up at various community service locations and she bullies her security guard into picking up the rubbish for her.